From identity and heritage to paperwork fatigue and pure comedy, married women shared the real (and often hilarious) reasons they chose not to change their names after marriage.
More Women Are Keeping Their Last Names, And They’re Sharing Why
While taking a husband’s last name has long been a cultural norm in the U.S., a growing number of women are choosing to keep the names they were born with. Content creator Lucy, who recently posted about the topic to her 438,000 TikTok followers, said she never even considered changing her name.
“Why should I change it for someone else?” she asked.
Curious about other women’s experiences, she posed the question:
“For my girls who didn’t change your last name, I want to hear your reason why.”
The responses poured in, and they ranged from heartfelt to cultural to just plain hilarious.
For Many Women, It’s About Identity and Accomplishment
A recurring theme was independence. Many women said their last name reflects who they are and what they’ve achieved.
One commenter wrote:
“I earned my doctorate with my last name and I’m the only one in my family with an advanced degree.”
Another added:
“Because I got married not bought. I don’t find it necessary for a woman to change her identity once she gets married.”
And sometimes the answer was simply intuitive:
“It felt weird. I came into this world with my name. Why would I change it?”
For Others, It’s Deeply Cultural or Spiritual
Heritage, lineage, and faith were powerful motivators.
One first-generation commenter shared:
“I’m first gen Mexican American and it was a piece of my identity I was not willing to give up… I want my family name on that degree.”
A Muslim woman explained:
“In Islam a woman is supposed to keep her last name and not erase her identity by taking someone else’s name. It also is your link to your lineage.”
And in some beautiful cases, the opposite happened:
“My fiancé (male) is taking my last name instead of me changing mine! He is adopted… my dad passed when I was a kid… He wants to honor my dad by taking his name instead!”
Some Choices Were Simply Practical (Because Bureaucracy Is Painful)
While identity and heritage shaped many decisions, a surprising number of women said their reasons came down to pure logistics.
“I avoid the Social Security office and DMV like the plague.”
“My passport photo was good and I didn’t want to change it until it expires.”
“They wanted me to mail in sensitive documents during covid and I wasn’t comfortable with it.”
One woman put it in terms anyone can relate to:
“Um did you see how much paperwork that was? I said to him, I don’t mind changing my name, but you’re going to have to do all this paperwork. SO THAT NEVER HAPPENED.”
And another kept it political AND practical:
“It will take me 273784938824 years to get an appointment at the DMV and I don’t want to miss an election where I can vote against Ted Cruz.”
And Some Reasons Were Just Too Funny Not to Share
TikTok users also brought the jokes, excellent ones.
“My last name is King and his is Butler , why would I demote myself?”
“I won’t because his name is too long and I like saying I’m related to Marvin Gaye.”
And then there was the classic clapback to a common criticism:
“People say ‘it’s not even your name, it’s your dad’s.’ And my fiancé’s last name is just his dad’s too? WTH kind of argument is that? So now I’m keeping it out of spite.”
It’s Not a Debate, Just a Choice
Lucy made it clear that her video wasn’t shaming anyone who did change their name. For many couples, sharing a last name feels meaningful, romantic, or simply practical, especially when navigating travel, medical paperwork, or raising kids.
And statistically, the tradition remains strong:
A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that about 8 in 10 women in opposite-sex marriages still take their husband’s last name.
But with millennials and Gen Z, keeping one’s original name is becoming more common.
Bottom Line: There Is No “Right” Way to Do Modern Marriage
Names carry identity, history, and meaning, but they can also be purely functional. That’s the beauty of the modern landscape: couples get to choose what fits them.
For every woman who keeps her name because it’s empowering, sentimental, or culturally significant, another joyfully takes her partner’s name because it feels unifying.
Marriage has room for all of it.
Featured Image from: Midjourney